How to Be There for Your Partner During Pregnancy (From a Guy Who Gets It)

Let’s be honest: pregnancy can feel like a whole new world—one where your partner’s body, moods, and routines are constantly shifting. And if you’re a guy, it’s easy to feel like you’re standing on the sidelines, unsure if you’re doing enough…or if what you’re doing even matters.

Here’s the thing: it does. More than you know.

Being present during pregnancy isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about showing up, learning as you go, and being willing to listen even when you don’t fully understand. Here are some ways to do that without losing yourself in the process:

1. Listen First, Fix Later

When your partner is venting about swollen ankles, weird cravings, or the fact that her jeans no longer fit, resist the urge to immediately problem-solve. Sometimes she doesn’t need advice—she just needs you to sit there, hear her, and say, “That sounds hard. I’m here with you.”

2. Educate Yourself (Don’t Wait for Her to Tell You Everything)

Yes, pregnancy books can feel overwhelming, but a quick Google search or skimming an article goes a long way. Knowing what “third trimester fatigue” actually means or why she’s suddenly crying over a commercial shows you care. Plus, it takes some of the pressure off her to explain everything.

3. Be Present in the Small Moments

You don’t have to grand-gesture your way through pregnancy. Rub her shoulders when she’s achy. Offer to handle dinner when she’s exhausted. Come to the doctor’s appointment, even if it’s just a routine check. The little things add up, and they remind her she’s not in this alone.

4. Take Care of Yourself Too

Here’s a perspective most guys don’t hear enough: your feelings matter, too. You might feel stressed, scared, or even a little left out—and that’s normal. The more you take care of your own mental health, the better partner you can be. Whether it’s therapy, workouts, or just grabbing time with friends, it’s not selfish—it’s necessary.

5. Ask, Don’t Assume

Instead of guessing what she needs (“She probably wants space” / “She probably wants me to take over”), just ask: “What would feel good for you right now?” Nine times out of ten, the simple act of asking makes her feel seen.

Pregnancy isn’t just a physical and emotional journey for women—it’s a relationship journey for both of you. When you show up consistently, communicate openly, and give yourself permission to be human too, you strengthen not only your bond as partners but also the foundation you’re building as parents.

And if you’re ever unsure how to navigate it all? That’s where therapy can help. You don’t need to have everything figured out to walk through the door—you just need to be willing to show up.